I’ll Feel at Home Once I Get Rid of This… Right?

The Endless Consume-Declutter Loop (And How to Get Out)

If it suddenly seems insane to expect perfection from a space meant to hold all the messy bits of life, welcome to the other side.

The Blue Room (La chambre bleue) by Suzanne Valadon

I like to think I have a system for home organization. In reality, I swing between two extremes—some days, every object feels like a treasure, and other days, I want to throw everything away and start over. Once the garbage bags come out, nothing is safe.

I know this: Too much stuff makes me anxious, but being surrounded by beautiful things makes me happy. Both are true at the same time. And figuring out how to live inside that contradiction has been far more helpful than any organizing method I’ve ever tried.

I keep coming back to this idea of seeing clearly—getting just enough distance from my space (or my own brain) to understand what I actually need. Not what I think I should need. Not what I’ve been told I need. Just… what makes sense right now.

Some days, clearing out a closet makes me feel like I can breathe again. Other days, I buy something because it promises to solve a problem I haven’t fully defined. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe decluttering isn’t about control—it’s about compassion. The kind that reminds me I deserve a clear space just as much as I deserve to fill it with things that bring me joy.