Kate’s Five Things #38

An Absolute Delight.

Sep 06, 2024

Catching Up

Someone in my house is sniffling, and I have a sore throat. A warm welcome to back-to-school season! Activities and social events keep piling on the calendar, and keeping a slower pace has felt like going the speed limit when you’re already late. Aside from being behind in nearly every aspect of life, I’ve decided to ride it out without worrying too much about it. Schedules won’t be “normal” until the end of the year. This is the wave we ride through the holidays.

It is a busy season of life and will be for some time. And then it will be over. Still, I am just getting the hang of slowing down and I don’t think I can give up this new outlook. There’s so much joy and delight right in front of my nose, and I refuse to be absent from that magic. There’s only one fleeting period of time when my family is intact, sleeping under one roof together. I choose them over everything else.

So I don't know what slowing down looks like when life speeds up. Maybe that means unloading our Costco order over the span of a weekend. Maybe that simply means being late for drop-off. It will probably mean canceling best-laid plans. I wish I could do it all, but it’s okay that I can’t. It’s okay to want to opt-out. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?

Last Week’s House Call

I took some time to reflect on the past year in last week’s House Call essay, “What a Fresh Start Actually Feels Like.”

Here’s a snippet:

“Fresh starts have often symbolized hope for me. The thrill of a new notebook or new sneakers; even Mondays hold a little promise for something better. Overt optimism wrapped around a can-do attitude makes one primed for the cult of self-improvement.
This spirited approach to fresh starts made me a tenacious and dangerous young adult. My surface-level transformations ranged from eating disorders to quick career advancements, and it was hard to discern the harm it caused from the benefits I reaped. All I knew was, I better not stop or slow down or it’d all come crashing down.
So I gobbled up self-help books and TED Talks like I had found religion. The idea you could be one hack away from your “new self” soothed me. The “old me” could be washed away with a new haircut, contacts, and a wardrobe overhaul.
When I applied the same formula to my midlife “fresh start,” it was shocking to find this optimism had been snuffed out unceremoniously. It felt like forgetting the steps to a dance you’ve long memorized. You’re frozen in mid-performance, with the next step just out of reach.
This is what it feels like to lose hope in yourself. It’s hiding in plain sight and you just can’t quite grasp it.”

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How I'm feeling this week…

Up and down, and a little afraid, baby! Emotions (mine) ran high as the kids went off to start first and second grade and the passing of time hit me like a freight train. And, I signed up for my first in-house tennis league! I regret it! But I’m kinda excited! It starts this weekend. Gulp!

What's in my cart…

I’ve done a bit of fall shopping this week. I went for a twill jacket with corduroy detailing, a bag that looks like The Row for a fraction of the cost, and some driving loafers. I also got some new bras that fit like a dream and refreshed my underwear drawer with these thongs.

What I'm consuming…

Silence. Which sounds intense and boring, but it is what I need. I realized recently how often I have something playing in my ears or a book in my hand. Being without distraction is rare, and it’s important to build self-trust. I still wish someone could bottle that up and sell it to me, but here we are.

What resonated with me…

The book Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner.

A question I've been asking myself lately…

What story am I telling myself right now? When you start to question your perception or reality with what’s true in your life, it can be overwhelming to realize how much of what you believe to be true could be entirely impossible in the eyes of someone who experienced the same event. It is liberating if you sometimes wrestle with a negative self-image because so much of the belief you have about yourself can be projected onto other people.

In this question, I have realized how often I decide someone has rejected me when it is me who has rejected my value in the story I have about them. It’s fascinating and freeing.