Kate's Five Things #42
Birthday hopes and embarrassments- and a little gift for you.
Catching Up
Historically, birthdays have felt like a mixed bag of hope and embarrassment. Like, who feels embarrassed about being born? I wanted to feel loved and celebrated without asking for it, and simultaneously, I wanted everyone to leave me alone. Turns out, a lot of us do.
After the blowout that was my 40th—a trip I planned myself—I started telling people what I wanted and needed more often. And guess what? It’s been great.
I’m no longer letting the barista at Starbucks call me Kathy, for one. I’m getting the manicure I asked for. My partner knows when I’m upset and why. There’s still room for surprise and mystery, even when I send them a very specific wishlist.
Last year, I wrote a contract outlining how I’d like to live in the next decade. This morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat with it for the first time since March. It was four pages long. I took out a pen and highlighter and hacked away at each section.
Four pages became ten lines:
Do what you say; say what you mean.
Listen.
Ask for help.
Feel it all with self-compassion.
Thoughts are not facts.
Sleep on it.
Move your body.
Be patient; be consistent.
Connection and community heal.
Let go and have fun.
Editing this contract provided clarity: I need contradiction.
To become strong, we must feel weak. To become wise, we must be beginners. To be known, we must risk vulnerability. To be brave, we must endure fear. To connect, we must risk rejection. And so on. That feeling of hope and embarrassment? Maybe they’re meant for each other.
My birthday wish is to go all in on #9: Connection and Community. Vulnerability and embarrassment be damned. So! House Call is 75% off this week to become a year-long supporting member. I want you to pull up a chair and tell us what you like and need. Make a friend. Stay for a while. Ends Nov 7th. Click here to sign up.
If you cannot pledge support and want to be part of the community, email us at hello@witanddelight.com.
Last Week’s House Call
In last week’s House Call, “Can Joy and Work Coexist?” I wrote about redistributing our sense of worth beyond our careers.
Here’s a snippet:
“When the product you’re selling is yourself—be it in a role as an entrepreneur, mother, philanthropist, or volunteer—things get tricky. Do your role well enough, and you may lose sight of where the real “you” ends and the culturally constructed “you” begins. When the tether to the real you breaks, values and purpose go along with it. Because a person whose persona is designed by their peers is for everyone and no one.
With no values or purpose to show the way home, what’s the next best step? Where do you even begin moving forward?
How I'm feeling this week…
It’s Scorpio season, baby. I’m cutting through the crap, letting the feelings flow, and leading with a little mystery. I love this time of year.
What's in my cart…
Elizabeth Damrich’s collection at Dillard’s is chic AF. I snagged some statement pieces (a red coat, long black gloves, and fuzzy slingbacks) and have been styling them while I wait for them to arrive.
For my birthday, I asked for this belt, this hair clip, and these sunglasses—all at a good price point and confirmed to be useful styling workhorses in my newly pared-down closet.
What I'm consuming…
I subscribed to
because I need more civility in my digital consumption. I love the critical analysis they bring to all sides of polarizing arguments. Membership-supported Substacks are the perfect place for hosting these nuanced conversations.What resonated with me…
A few reads that you’ll no doubt enjoy:
On being unembarrassed about your ambition and pursuits, and embracing the suck of falling short of expectations. A salve in the age of cringe and comfort content. (Thank you
for the recommendation.)The perils of overgeneralizing nuance, as explained by the rise of self-help influencers on TikTok. - Gawker via
Devastate me, baby!
invites you to let your feathers ruffle.
A question I've been asking myself lately…
Where am I living in the future?
When we’re not trying to manage the outcome of a potential disaster—like the upcoming election—in our minds, the future is open to things going well, even if it’s the little things that turn out to be what make this all manageable. Disaster lurks, but things are almost always okay in the present.
Home of the Week
Note: We’re pivoting from Space of the Week to Home of the Week to feature real people sharing real-time stories, photos, and updates of their evolving homes. If you have a submission, email us at hello@witanddelight.com with the subject line HOUSE CALL FEATURE.
This week, we’re featuring the home of
, known for her unique and dreamy renovation project in the Scottish Highlands. I often feel like Patricia is my long-lost sister, and I imagine living in a cottage just down the road from her. Here are some of my favorite photos from her Instagram account. For more behind-the-scenes content and her beautiful writing, you can subscribe to her Substack, Extraordinary Ordinary.xx
Kate
Working on all of these things, too! (Enneagram 9, anyone?) and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 💛
Thanks for sharing Reading the Comments pod Kate! We couldn’t agree more that this is the perfect place for safer, more nuanced discussion of polarizing arguments!