Kate's Five Things #48

Write with me

A peek at my friend Lisa’s cooking journals

Catching Up

Not much is making sense out in the collective right now. I don’t know what else to do, only to hold out a hand for another to grab onto.

I am writing a lot outside this newsletter. The writing is in journal format, scratched into notebooks and a digital notes folder called “shitty first drafts.” Short sentences. Bullet points. A flash of heat captured and then tucked away.

Writing this way came from friendly advice passed on by another writer. She also wrestles with the impulse to edit (in work and life) before stories reveal themselves. I saw her outstretched hand as a direct line back home. Writing need not be so precious, she said. Let it be. Let it unspool. Let it be whatever you can reach for. A recipe, an idea, a cry. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

We all need this space to stretch, yell, collapse, and create. That's why I'm changing the format of this bi-weekly post—just slightly—so you can write alongside me in whatever capacity you feel called to.

Kate’s Five Things are questions meant to find footing at home (physically, emotionally, or both) and where you can access action, creativity, and insight. They’re introspective; they’re yours, and they’re not meant to be shared unless you feel pulled to.

Think of it as a self-preservation practice we can share—my things, your things, too. Concrete objects, events, and happenings that act as anchors (or proof even) that there are glimmers to hold onto.

You don’t have to call yourself a writer or consider yourself a good one to spill onto a page. Labels are a great way to spook the first seed of inspiration. Ideas are always skittish, no matter how practiced you are at coaxing them out. Aren’t labels for the unimaginative anyway?

Share your responses in the comments or take them to your journal.

House Call Last Week…

Last week, I wrote about overthinking and intuition. The process worked as a crowbar to remove residual shrapnel from a decade of quiet self-sabotage. I hope you’ll find it helpful, too. Here is a snippet:

“Overthinking is a sign we’ve lost trust in ourselves. Overthinking is rationalizing our inability to cope with making an imperfect decision. . . .

I broke my hellscape overthinking loop by accepting that “knowing” is just the trust that we can handle whatever happens after we decide. Intuition is one part mystery, one part belief in oneself.”

Questions (for you and me)

When did you feel most at home this week?

Early mornings. Late evenings. They are for mischief.

Early last Thursday morning, I put on my headphones and hit shuffle. I love to dance, but something about the dark house and the early hour had made it intimate and insane. For half an hour, I stretched beyond the tight confines of all the containers we fold into.

I took a video to remember this moment: me, cocooned in a room full of books, realizing my body knows more about what it needs than any author on the shelf. Watching it could strike me dead with embarrassment, but the feeling—WOW! It was worth the price of pride.

As I let go of needing to intellectualize my life, I find a whole new world waiting for me in the wisdom of my body. It hasn’t always felt safe to be inside my skin, and creating a home that could act as a place for physical unraveling has been vital in finally arriving here.

Where are you moving forward?

Delegating more within my relationships. Big things, small things. I am surprised by the ease with which I do it. Who is this imposter? And yet, she is familiar. I realize feeling alone and unsupported is about trust as much as control. I feel slightly deflated in this but in a good way. Humbled is probably the right word.

This week, I handed over our family budget to Joe. It seems silly not to have done so a long time ago. The financial burden of managing it all split in half in an instant. Nothing changed except my willingness to accept help. I hadn’t expected such instant relief.

New intimacy level: unlocked.

Where are you stuck?

Waiting for things to feel “right.” What a trap! Sometimes, even the firm conviction to jump into a task can be throttled. But I don’t know what it is… it feels solid and immovable.

That’s where I’m spending my journaling time this week. Giving shape to that feeling while observing my judgment.

Read the entire feature in @theworldofinteriors. photos by @georgesmohsen @samuelmohsen

What did you consume that was regenerative?

1. The Worst Person in the World on Disney+

2. This essay on accountability by Catherine Shannon

3. Wicked (with my kids!)

4. John Cleese on creativity

5. Art and objects are used in the best of ways in this Cairo home

6. A guide to blowing up your life by Miranda July

What question are you asking?

Is it projection?

Any oversized reaction to another person's behavior signals something inside needs to be witnessed.

A comment left on a sponsored piece of content a few weeks ago brought up an oversized reaction in me, one I let myself feel and respond to in front of many of you.

On the one hand, I needed to have my own back and stand up for myself. On the other hand, I needed to look closely at my “big reaction” anatomy. I could see where I hadn’t supported myself over the years; instead, I outsourced approval from an audience I worked hard not to let down. I found anger and disappointment here. It was finally seeing the light of day, and BOOM, big feelings. I was also able to let whatever intentions the commenter may have come into the frame and, in turn, accept their POV.

I realized there was no argument, just her reaction and mine. Neither of us right or wrong—it’s just two different sides of the same coin.

Listening to what sits underneath our emotional triggers is a gift we might not always like to see, but at least we get to see ourselves with heightened clarity. This is why embracing the emotions that make you feel like the worst is pretty remarkable. Even if the problem is you, don’t avoid moments that make you cringe. Look under the hood.

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A Few Little Things That Snagged My Eye…

1. This lovely little bralette

2. A beautifully designed portable lamp by Louis Poulsen

3. A sobering refresher on spotting Authoritarianism

4. An under-eye treatment with a soothing applicator

5. An embroidered journal

6. A big sale for those looking to swap out nonstick cookware, upgrade knives, replace broken wine glasses, or spruce up a cutlery drawer because people still need to eat.

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Rooms of Our Own — Call for YOUR Submissions!

The Home of the Week series is now Rooms of Our Own.

Write and/or send a photo (or two) of the space in your home where you feel most yourself. The spot you return to. The place that holds you.

Tell me:

— What inspired you to design it this way?

— How do you spend your time here?

— What does it feel like? The sights, the sounds, the textures that make it yours.

Send your submission to hello@witanddelight.com with the subject line HOUSE CALL FEATURE. I can’t wait to see the spaces that hold you.

Kate