Kate's Five Things #77
Ordinary things worth talking about again.
Catching Up
Have you ever waited for the right time to start something, only to realize the waiting was what kept you from starting? Waiting to be ready. Certain. Sure. Clear. Confident. Thin. Educated. Prepared. On a walk the other day, a thought hit me: I am not waiting for when I am ready. I am waiting for a feeling that won’t arrive.
It was then that I realized I was six layers deep into my own bullshit and that bullshit was proof I was actually living. Because waiting for the feeling of a perfect path or plan—that’s the opposite of aliveness. Being in a shithole with no idea how you’re going to make it out? That’s a story worth seeing through.
A note, in the spirit of ordinariness: Some of these things I’ve written about before. I’m not living like a content machine right now. I’m just living. Here’s what I have.
One
Wonder Valley Body Oil. I put it on after the shower when my skin is still damp. The smell is special. Herbal and a little strange, not perfumey, smells more like a memory than anything else (the best kind). Feels like taking care of myself, in a way that doesn’t feel like I am making it my personality.
Use code WITANDDELIGHT15 for 15% off your Wonder Valley purchase.
Two
The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion series by Beth Brower. I ripped through them and felt the way I did watching the BBC Pride and Prejudice series for the first time. There are supposedly going to be twenty-four books in total (!), and I’m reading the current series again right now, this time more slowly, catching the easter eggs along the way. The Reddit community is a small joy. I’m not ready to move on from this world.
Three
This Is a Gardening Show on Netflix. Zach Galifianakis interviews kids and experts about apples and compost. Deadpan and completely enthralled by something ordinary, which is funnier and more moving than I expected.
Four
Mouth Tape. One of those wellness things you roll your eyes at until you try it. I don’t use it religiously (I’m not a robot), but I come back to it when sleep isn’t coming the way it used to. Throw out the twenty-step program being sold online, but keep the tape (I prefer this brand!).
Five
Rec League. It feels like the old internet so much it hurts. Real people, real recommendations, a kind of intimacy that feels like Cup of Jo's comments section. She’s on there, btw. Reading it feels like reading a friend's blog before that was a thing you had to call something.
And in case you missed it…
If you liked this post, check out the latest essay on the messy yet worthwhile road to self-trust.
Kate, thank you SO much for sharing this! waiting for a feeling that'll never come is exactly the trap I've been keeping myself in for a very, very long time. I look up to you and appreciate your honesty - it seems like everything's so obvious and sorted out for you :-)
Thank you for being genuine.
And I've gathered up a bit more courage for myself...
Deeply relate to the waiting for a feeling to start something. I haven’t heard of the book you recommended and I’m excited to peruse!