Kate's Five Things #80
Sunning.
Catching Up
I was peeling carrots when a flurry of feathers dropped out of the sky. A young hawk, grounded in the middle of our yard.
Any birder will tell you a hawk doesn’t sit still longer than it takes to snatch a field mouse. It spread its wings out wide and went completely still.
I willed myself not to grab my phone or holler for Joe and the kids. It held the pose long enough that Joe wandered into the kitchen, and I whispered, “Do you think it’s hurt?” We took a photo and asked Claude if we needed to call The Raptor Center.
We didn’t. It was sunning—the horaltic pose; birds use it to warm up, dry off, and preen off parasites.
That night, I was finishing a different book and landed on a fable I hadn’t read since I was a kid—The North Wind and the Sun. The wind and the sun argue over who’s stronger, and they settle it by seeing who can get a traveler to take off his coat. The wind blows hard, and the man just holds his coat tighter. The sun does nothing but warm him, and he takes it off himself.
I’ve been thinking about that all week. What gets loosened by force and what only lets go on its own terms.
One
Wonder Valley Barrier Balm.
Maintaining a healthy skin barrier has been the most challenging part of caring for my skin in my 40s. I’ve been testing the new Wonder Valley Barrier Balm for a few weeks now. My favorite way to use it is as an overnight treatment—a generous layer before bed, and I wake up with soft, hydrated skin. If you’ve got angry, dry, red skin and want to try a wax-free hydrating balm, this one’s worth looking into.
Code WITANDDELIGHT15 gets you 15% off.
Two
Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors.
Both of her books have been sitting on my nightstand for a while, and I finally cracked this one open at the pool last week. Couldn't put it down. It's heavy—she writes through addiction with such clarity that even if substance abuse hasn't touched your life directly, it's hard not to relate to the grief, the hopelessness, and the humor that keeps breaking through this heartbreaking story of three sisters. This is where I came across the fable, which is central to the character arcs in the book. Can't wait to get to Cleopatra and Frankenstein next.
Three
Embracing anger.
I can't even remember what set it off, or how I ended up taking a wiffle ball bat to the walls and furniture in our house. But it felt good to let anger move. I couldn't tell you what I was upset about, and honestly, I'm nervous to even put this here—I know how the collective judges and demonizes "angry women." But anger is part of being human, and it's a lot more dysfunctional to keep it so neat and tidy that we don't even know we're angry anymore. We hold things for so long. We keep it together. All the invisible labor. I just needed to scream and hit things until I was exhausted. Nothing was broken as the bat is light and made of plastic, so it feels like this wild, childish, free pass to just let loose when I need to.
Four
Borrowing designer bags.
I got an invitation to try Vivrelle, a members-only club with designers like Loewe, Khaite, and Celine, plus bigger names like Chanel, Prada, Hermès, and Dior. Tiers start at $139 a month. I browsed the collection and can confirm it’s not about flashing logos. Now I just have to decide which one to borrow first! This one? This one? Or this one?
Use code KATEARENDS for 50% off your first two months of Vivrelle membership!
Five
Community-curated lists on Rec League.
Still my favorite place to spend screen time. Jillian asked the group for their favorite houseware and kitchen stores, and the resulting list is better than anything you'll find anywhere else. It's rewiring how I think about content—reminding me of the days before Wit & Delight had to pay outrageous hosting fees just to keep a list like that alive. You can follow me here on Rec League.
And in case you missed it…
If you liked this post, check out my latest essay on the beauty of home projects that leave some things untouched.
I have never heard of Rec League.
I am not one for designer bags or clothes