Lack of Organization and Clutter [Part 1]
Getting Unstuck at Home #004
We’re not messy—we’re overwhelmed.
We tend to sort ourselves into neat categories to manage how we move through life—organized or messy, minimal or chaotic—but labels aren’t helpful when you’re trying to get unstuck. Most of us swing between both, often enough to question our sense of self. So let’s drop the labels. Because the way I’ve come to see it, clutter isn’t a character flaw. It’s a signal. Let’s see what it’s trying to say.
Why Clutter Overwhelms Us
Clutter is not neutral. It affects our nervous systems in a very real way, even if we don’t realize it. That visual noise, the tripping hazard in the hallway, the half-sorted mail? Your brain has clocked it. Every time you walk past it, it has registered as something unresolved. Multiply that by a dozen tiny reminders, and no wonder you feel like your house is yelling at you.
Over the years, nerves begin to buckle, and you become the person hauling items of use and meaning to the Goodwill, only to regret it when you’re purchasing a raincoat to replace the one you “never used.” If you’re like me, you’ll repeat this cycle every three months for what feels like the rest of your life.
Most Solutions Solve the Wrong Problem
Managing clutter isn’t just about making things look nice. It’s the aesthetic label we apply to “being on top of it.” We position ourselves to fail, again and again. We think a house devoid of noise will lighten the load, all the while our expectations make it heavier.
This desire, to make something lovely out of the ugliness of daily life, will keep us striving for polished perfection despite a 100% fail rate. We attempt to prettify our messes because “pretty” signals something accomplished. Contained.
This approach is a form of emotional bypassing, slapping a band-aid on a cut that’s been screaming at you, one that needs a lot more than some rainbow-colored sorting systems.
Managing clutter isn’t performance. It’s a form of self-care. A way of telling your future self: I’ve got you.
Reframing What Clutter Means
Clutter is a part of life. Full stop.
You’re not going to “beat” it once and for all. The more I’ve accepted that, the less shame I feel about the messes that come with real life. I understood this intellectually, but to accept it, to not feel the shame of living when it doesn’t look perfect, that feels like a kind of homecoming.
Strangely, the less shame I feel, the easier it is to clean up. Sometimes, the mess even looks beautiful. I can appreciate the container—the emotional spaciousness drawer organizers could never create—for my family to live fully. Life being lived outside the lines of polished and acceptable makes it easier to appreciate the moments we’re showing up embodied perfectly, as ourselves. We’re swinging from controlled to chaotic, just as the flow of life needs us to be.
Clutter is no longer this hot-button thing. I can just bite it off in chunks. I can walk past the pile in the hallway and not blow up at my kids. I make a plan to deal with it. I delegate. I give someone a timeline for when I expect it to be dealt with. Clutter management looks different when it comes from clarity, compassion, and the desire to care for your future self. So I’ll fold a pile of laundry on the couch while I watch TV. I’ll set a timer and deal with the fridge. I go to bed without needing everything in place. And I don’t wait a month to fold the sheets because it just feels like too much to deal with. I’m no longer wildly swinging from one extreme to the other. I’m flowing.
Your home’s clutter isn’t a diagnosis. It might just be a sign that you’ve been focused elsewhere. You might be getting the signal that your home life is meant to be loud and full of tripping hazards. It might be a signal that you’ve been avoiding the care you need. It might signal you’re burnt out and need help. The signals help us take action. They help us find compassion. They prompt us to pick up the phone and ask our best friend to watch Love Island with us while we match socks or deal with the room that needs sorting. These signals help us connect the discomfort—the constant friction that clutter rubs into day-to-day life—to the solutions that soothe and regulate. That build self-trust. That show us how to swing from one state to the other, like human beings are supposed to. Whatever your clutter is signaling, the answer will always remind you: You’re a human with good intentions.
Take action from there.
In part two of Getting Unstuck at Home: Lack of Organization and Clutter, I’ll be sharing:
How to find your own “good enough” solution for clutter.
Embracing the constant evolution of our spaces.
The organizational system that works best for me.
Small, repeatable ways to reduce clutter at home.
I’m an artist and find I can never get in the right mindset without making an utter mess. I think there’s a real connection with letting go and submitting to the moment. I also beat myself up I’m organizationally challenged in my domestic sphere. Equal parts FYI and SOS 😅
My husband use to say my computer desk is cluttered but then he set up a spare room as an office and that is way more cluttered then my desk, at least I can find stuff he cannot.