Breaking The Burnout Cycle
The practice that changed everything.
Self-compassion showed me something different. I don’t have a behavior problem. I have a perception problem—specifically, a perception of myself that’s impossible to live in. Burnout wasn’t a symptom; it was my body telling me it was time for a new way to relate to myself and the world.
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Last month, I shared an interview with my coach, Kristine Claghorn, on the topic of self-compassion. Today, I’m writing about it from my lens—how I define self-compassion, how it connects me to a deeper sense of community, and the daily practice that has taken me from a never-ending cycle of burnout to a new way of being.
How I Define Self-Compassion
It took a long time for me to separate myself from the ruminations in my head. I didn’t like living with a constant stream of thoughts and worries, but I also didn’t think I’d be OK or safe without them. I was stuck with the brain that had given me everything and was also making me miserable.
You can know what’s wrong, but it’s a different beast to actually choose another path.
I kept looking for simple answers—the kind that populate Instagram therapy posts and self-help books—but they couldn’t account for the complexity of what I was experiencing. I wanted certainty through self-improvement, which is precisely what my ruminations promised to provide. “Be kinder to yourself” didn’t exactly feel like it had the heft I’d need to snuff out the voice that had been screaming “be better” at me my entire life.
Self-compassion is deceptively simple, but it’s not simplistic. It doesn’t give you certainty. Instead, it asks you to stay right where you are. To witness what’s happening without immediately trying to judge or fix it. It says: I see that you’re experiencing something hard right now. It creates a moment of pause, where it is possible to sit with the discomfort and uncertainty that arises.
Crucially, it reminds you that struggling with this discomfort isn’t evidence you’re broken—it’s evidence you’re human. We all spill coffee. We all rush to conclusions. We all overthink. We all become overwhelmed. We all fall short of our own expectations. And suddenly, the thing you were judging yourself for becomes a point of connection between you and the rest of humanity.