Kate's Five Things #50

Things I once thought were ugly (but now I adore)

I’m sitting on a pink couch, staring at my green walls. There is a book on the coffee table titled Who’s Afraid of Pink, Orange and Green? I bought it for that cheeky title. A coffee table confessional, a wink.

Color hadn't taken center stage in all the homes I had lived in before. Color had been unpredictable. Hard to control. Beige, I believed, knew its place. Beige wouldn’t embarrass you.

I changed my mind about color the day we moved into this house, and since then, I’ve made it a point to leave wiggle room to surprise myself. Not just in the realm of home decor. In everything. A simple example: those sneakers aging white guys wear in Menards? Used to hate them, but now I think they make wearing yoga pants and a long Rachel Comey coat a proper outfit. I had the same feeling about the paint color for this green room. Do I look at it and think, "Who did this, and what was she smoking?" Sometimes, I do.

The shoes, and this paint color, are undoubtedly a little ugly. And I think that’s what makes them enticing.

Taste is slippery like that.

We think taste is about preferences—a neat little list of likes and dislikes—when really, it’s about identity. Sometimes, it’s about control. No florals, no glossy finishes, no weird colors, no surprises. I followed the same rules for my wardrobe, my makeup, and the smile I used in photos.

Looking back at all the rules I had around what I liked about myself and the world, I wonder if I was afraid to cozy up to what scared me a little. Being a little scared is fun.

Because now I can’t seem to follow my own rules. And I’m not saying this like it’s a badge of honor or anything. The dominos kept falling once I started giving in to what made me wide-eyed and free. The things I once swore were ugly are the very things I am drawn to.

Maybe I’ve softened. Or maybe taste was never about being right in the first place. Maybe we’re just meant to keep rolling along, collecting experiences and changing our opinions about everything.

Here are five things I once thought were ugly. (But now? I’m into it.)

1. My Nose.

I spent most of middle school horrified by my nose. It felt too big for my tiny head, and I became a pro at hiding from side angles. My mom called it the Butler nose—our nose—and at the time, that made me want to crawl out of my skin. Now, I see her face in mine, and that nose is one of my favorite things about me.

2. Brown Furniture

I mistakenly thought brown furniture was the design equivalent of wearing skinny jeans in front of a Gen Z. I wanted pale woods and clean lines—everything Scandinavian and tasteful. When I recently pulled together a mood board for a client, it was filled with brown velvet and oversized dark leather sofas, dark wood cabinets, and dark wood paneling. The entire project felt like me but upside down. I realized color doesn’t care if I think it’s cool—which is why I love it. It’s about feeling.

3. Wall-to-Wall Carpet
Wall-to-wall carpeting was for dentist offices. Or smelly bedrooms found in fixer-uppers. Then I put it in the kids’ room, instantly regretted it, and somehow fell in love anyway. Sure, it’s smudged and stained, but there’s something about the way it softens with every step. It’s not precious—it’s practical in the most comforting, lived-in way. I love how it feels underfoot and find myself wanting a bedroom with something warm and cozy in a way only carpet can deliver.

4. Jewelry I’ve Been Gifted

This is not fun to admit. My taste in jewelry has always been… particular. For years, the gifts I received felt like they were meant for a much daintier, more delicate version of me. When Joe brought me back a necklace from Peru, I braced for that familiar “oh no” feeling. Then he told me the story of finding it. I imagine him standing in that store, thinking hard about how to communicate “I love and miss you".

Now, this necklace feels like love in object form, and I wear it like a secret.

5. Ceiling Fans

For a long time, I saw ceiling fans as the enemy—clunky, uninspired, the death of good design. Then, I slept under one on a hot summer night, and I awoke humbled. Ceiling fans don’t try to be anything they’re not; they just quietly make you more comfortable. Honestly? We could all learn something from that.

House Call Last Week…

Last week, I wrote about my relationship with things and how I’ve found myself living in a new gray area where I can continue to break the rules of both a Maximalist and a Minimalist.

Here is a snippet:

Decluttering stopped feeling like a chore the moment I stopped trying to “fix” my space and started treating it as something that naturally evolves. Some days, the house is pristine. Other days, there are half-finished projects, unfolded laundry, and a countertop that looks like a crime scene of mail, pens, and receipts.

It doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It just means people actually live here.

Questions (for you and me)

When did you feel most at home this week?

Playing a card game with my family in our green room.

Where are you moving forward?

I am designing and writing like it’s 2014 again. There’s a different feeling this time around, because after burnout, I know the loud calls of my inner critic can just float on by without haunting me a night. There will be time for editing and refining, but now, it’s create all day, every day.

Where are you stuck?

Putting my clothes away at the end of the day. The pile system is working and I’m not fighting it.

What did you consume that was regenerative?

I started Matt Haig’s The Life Impossible after my friend Leslie nudged me to crack it open. It’s what I need after a long day of sustained focus.

What question are you asking?

Is thinking about it going to change anything? The answer is usually no.

Five Things I am Using and Loving…

1. A little surrealism with your espresso, maybe? I received these impractically cool teacups from Nik Bentel’s Tea for Two Set as a gift, and they delighted me. And since I know you’re wondering, you can drink from them!

2. I purchased this piece for the green room after looking for something big and somewhat affordable for the space. I cannot wait to see it! I also snagged these uniquely matted frames that give a custom look that I’ve been looking for.
   

3. A few techy things that I’m packing for my trips to Mexico and Big Sur: Counterpart retractable charger (a little piece of functional art) and my Bose Quiet Comfort Headphones, which hold a much longer charge than my Apple ear buds.
   

4. Spring and summer sweaters are hard to find and this one from Modern Citizen arrived yesterday and it literally checks all of my boxes. I love the texture, the cropped fit, the thick width of crewneck, and it feels relaxed and cool all at the once. Retails for $128 (25% OFF WITH CODE 10YEARS)
   

5. I’ve been experimenting with wearing my natural curls and have found there’s an entire world of techniques and products to try out. So much of finding the right product depends on the time of year, the texture of your hair, and how you plan on styling it (air dry, difusser or a combo of both).
   
   I plan on sharing a detailed post on what’s learned in the future, but since there have been questions around what products I’ve used here’s a list of what I’ve liked and why:
   

   • BLEU by R+CO Rebounce: R+CO is one of my stylist’s go-to product lines (hello, hardworking, vegan, delicious-smelling, and sustainable) and this product feels weightless in my hair, giving my curls a bouncy, round look.
     Retails for $42

   • Aveda Be Curly Curl Enhancing Cream: I tried out the whole line of products for a week, and they made my curls tighter and more defined. The cream is great for wavy hair in dry climates. Use it lightly if you have fine hair.
     Retails for $36

   • Crown Affair Texturizing Air Dry Mousse: This works really well for fine hair and gives a more relaxed and effortless look to my curls.
     Retails for $38

   • Ouai Curl Creme: This has a stickier texture and did a nice job defining my curls while leaving them light and airy.
     Retails for $32

The Home of the Week series is now Rooms of Our Own, because “home” isn’t always a house, and sometimes the best spot in the place isn’t even yours. (I, for one, have known deep peace sitting on a stranger’s perfectly worn-in sofa.)

Every week in Five Things, I’ll share a reader’s story (or two) about the spaces that hold them—their favorite chair, the kitchen counter where all the good conversations happen, the room that inexplicably smells like childhood.

This Week’s Rooms of Our Own

“Ode to my horse girl office: This space is everything I dreamed of as a little girl. I always wanted a space that felt like my heart opened up through design: wallpaper that MIGHT be in the library of a palace, floor to wall bookshelves, an old/comfy couch, a place to hang a leather halter and store my riding stirrups inside an old writer's desk, and collections of heartful things (Breyer horses, books, ribbons). My favorite time of the day here is 7am on a cold winter morning after a fresh blanket of snow. It's self-defining.” - Brittany Chaffee, creator of Bathmilk

Send your submission to hello@witanddelight.com with the subject line HOUSE CALL FEATURE. I can’t wait to see the spaces that hold you.

Kate