Kate's Five Things #69
The reframe that changes productivity to devotion
Catching Up
Before the weather turned, I sat crouched in the front bushes at dusk, waiting for my daughter to run past so I could grab her ankle. Ghosts in the Graveyard. The last warm fall evening. Shrieks of delight. I was supposed to be inside answering emails. But I was here, dirt on my knees, branches through my hair, breathing hard and completely useless to anyone who needed me to be anywhere else. I leaped from my hiding place and ran as fast as I could toward the sound of childhood.
I used to think the world outside had created the rules I filtered my life through. I wasn’t one to blame when I postponed joy in favor of diligence. Or rest in favor of one more rep or one more practice swing. This is just what you did. You pay the price to get what you want.
When I started noticing my inner voice, I felt the pattern beneath all the shoulds. You should be writing. You should have a plan. You should know what you’re doing. You should be over this by now, there by now. You should be anywhere but here.
Yesterday I had writer’s block and did a jigsaw puzzle for an hour. This morning, I scrolled Netflix and pressed play on the first thing that looked fine instead of searching for perfect. When I found myself sitting at my desk 30 minutes later, engrossed in the solution that had popped into my head while horizontal, I realized how backwards I had it. This doesn’t have to be so hard. It doesn’t have to be checked boxes, lists, and goals. It could be instinct, devotion, curiosity, or even love.
Take time to step away. Make a clean break. Forget about it entirely. The freedom may be the thing that brings you back.
In Case You Missed It…
In the last post on House Call, I wrote about my relationship with the practice of self-compassion and what it looks like in my day-to-day life.
Five Things to Try (That Might Change How You “Try”)
1. Adopt the first movie rule. Open Netflix. Press play on whatever’s in the first slot. No browsing, no “let me just see what else there is.” Watch 10 minutes. If you hate it, fine. But you didn’t waste time scrolling.
2. Fridge dinner roulette. Cook using only what’s already in your kitchen. Eggs and leftover rice and that random half-onion? That’s dinner.
3. Text back immediately. First thought, send. No drafting or overthinking. No “Wait, does this sound… ?” If someone texts you, respond with whatever comes to mind.
4. Inside-out shirt day. Wear your shirt inside-out all day on purpose. Seams showing, tag visible. See how long it takes you to stop caring. See if anyone even notices. Feel your reaction if they do. Do you feel supported and seen? Or judged and rejected?
5. Crayon correspondence. Write with a crayon instead of a pen for a week. Grocery lists, notes, journal entries. You cannot make crayon writing look professional or impressive. That’s why it works.
Five Questions to Answer
1. What are you trying so hard at right now that you’ve forgotten why you started?
Tennis. I tend to forget the point of consistent practice isn’t to see linear improvement, but to build the trust you can return whatever ball you receive in whatever way you can.
2. When was the last time you let yourself be completely useless for an hour?
When I watched Oh. What. Fun. in my sweats at 10:30 am on a weekday.
3. What does your body know that you keep talking yourself out of?
That you don’t always feel safe enough to fully relax.
4. If you weren’t trying to be somewhere other than here, where would “here” actually be
Here wouldn’t feel like living in a pressure cooker while denying it feels like a pressure cooker.
5. What would happen if you trusted that doing nothing was doing enough?
I’m not sure. I’m sure there would be things that disappoint me. Other things that surprise me. It’s the not knowing that makes it feel hard to embrace, right?
Bonus: Five Products for More Ease
Our Current Listings feature is such a hit, I thought I’d add a few things my friends and I have been texting each other.
1. Throw on a sparkly necklace and wear it all holiday season. Looks great with chunky sweaters and jeans, and dresses up the simplest dress. This one doesn’t rust and has a lifetime guarantee, which is a great deal for the retail price of $94.
2. The Biom fraiser fir Biom wipes. We keep a container out on the counter, and they smell so good that everyone actually wants to wipe the table. They also have peppermint and tres vanille scents.
3. I invested in some base layers this winter so I didn’t have to negotiate outdoor time, and they’ve already paid themselves off. Two non-negotiables: Fleece-lined leggings and a mock turtleneck base layer.
4. I’m not a big supplement gal beyond the basics (fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium). I recently had my hormones tested, and while all the markers indicate I’m not in perimenopause, I certainly feel like I’m there. Thankfully, my doc is sympathetic to the symptoms that show up before big dips show up in labs and recommended I start the lowest dose of HRT. It’s helped a lot with mood swings. I am giving Biologica a try this month for cognitive issues like brain fog and am tracking how I feel throughout the day.
5. Keep tiny notebooks with you at all times. I have these in my drawers in many rooms my house. I grab whatever one is closest when my brain decides we have to do ALL THE THINGS. I sit down and list them all in horrible handwriting and witness just how many things I’d rather be doing.
One Corner to Love will return in 2026. If you have a nook, room, or detail that feels like you, send me a photo and a few words about why it matters: kate@witanddelight.com.
Until next time!
XO, Kate
There’s another I like, which is “if it occurs to you, do it” - true for calling a friend, mailing a gift, a chore…whatever. It’s on your mind for a reason and likely overdue.
It took me a long time to realise that you can give yourself permission to do whatever you want. You can sit in the garden with a cup of tea even if you haven't washed up, and the world won't end. It makes no difference whether you hoover every day or just hoover on Fridays - there are no hoover police coming to slap you on the wrist. I don't think I've cleaned my windows for the past ten years and nobody has died.