My history of overachieving, people-pleasing, and internal beatdowns align with the plight of women. We’re damned if we fall in line; we’re damned if we don’t.
I can relate to a lot of this. And the jumping off the carousel. Then, a couple years ago, out of the blue, I started hearing an unfamiliar voice interrupting my regular inner monologue that sounded totally unrecognizable, but soothing as fuck. “Don’t worry about that -- it’s not worth it. You’re doing great.” I hope you can hear her, too ♥️💐
Jul 12, 2023·edited Jul 12, 2023Liked by Kate Arends
Kate - your words always bring a sense of calm to me. I'm nodding my head reading, thank god, someone understands me, I don't feel so alone.
Fawning over someone who has shown distaste or disapproval of me has taken up some much of my mental headspace over the years. Learning to let go of that, to let go of that control can bring me so much peace, so much freedom to actually live, unapolgetically me.
Really appreciate you sharing some of the behind the scenes as you navigate what’s next for you and your business. I too am exploring what “achieving” means and what in the world I actually think about what success is. Timely words, thank you.
There was a point when I realized “achievements” were never going to take that internal pain away. I think I sat on that truth for a few years before I got brave enough to do something about it.
So beautifully said. I am also 40 years old and so much of what you are experiencing and discovering resonates with me. Thank you for sharing so honestly.
I really needed to hear this message today, Kate. After the birth of both of my children, I struggled with postpartum rage. It's the first time I experienced that need to let my real feelings spill out... even if they're uncomfortable. I've learned how to manage the rage better and through that process realize that I don't have to do what's expected of me all the time. It's OK for me to be a real human being with a whole specturm of emotions.
Choosing freedom to be your best YOU for YOU is not damnation...but awareness and consciousness. Awakened to this question? Choose YOU. We can spend our lives seeking and hoping to be chosen, approved of, included. Turn that on its head. Truth is only truth if YOU believe it. Signed, your (finally) Fearless Writer, Lisa
Reading this I felt both seen and scared because these dark sides have, at times, been difficult for me to control. After becoming a mom (of 4) with a successful career I have been too busy to give them space but occasionally they percolate to the top of mind and remind me they will always be there. I recently turned 41 and am now convincing myself that I am no longer the scared 20 year old without the love, support, or tools to look these feelings head on. Your words help give me the strength to move forward not just for myself but for my two girls (7 and 13) who I see struggling with the very same drive for perfection.
I love your writing Kate. Whenever you dig in like this it is pure magic. Good to see you writing like this again you have a gorgeous way to weaving truth and vulnerability into something worth learning and growing from. This was an excellent read!
I can relate to a lot of this. And the jumping off the carousel. Then, a couple years ago, out of the blue, I started hearing an unfamiliar voice interrupting my regular inner monologue that sounded totally unrecognizable, but soothing as fuck. “Don’t worry about that -- it’s not worth it. You’re doing great.” I hope you can hear her, too ♥️💐
I hear it 💖
Kate - your words always bring a sense of calm to me. I'm nodding my head reading, thank god, someone understands me, I don't feel so alone.
Fawning over someone who has shown distaste or disapproval of me has taken up some much of my mental headspace over the years. Learning to let go of that, to let go of that control can bring me so much peace, so much freedom to actually live, unapolgetically me.
When I first read about fawning I thought, THATS IT. It clicked and I wish it was talked about as much as the fight/freeze response.
Really appreciate you sharing some of the behind the scenes as you navigate what’s next for you and your business. I too am exploring what “achieving” means and what in the world I actually think about what success is. Timely words, thank you.
There was a point when I realized “achievements” were never going to take that internal pain away. I think I sat on that truth for a few years before I got brave enough to do something about it.
So beautifully said. I am also 40 years old and so much of what you are experiencing and discovering resonates with me. Thank you for sharing so honestly.
I have heard this is a rite of passage of sorts and I’m glad to be walking it alongside women like you!
I really needed to hear this message today, Kate. After the birth of both of my children, I struggled with postpartum rage. It's the first time I experienced that need to let my real feelings spill out... even if they're uncomfortable. I've learned how to manage the rage better and through that process realize that I don't have to do what's expected of me all the time. It's OK for me to be a real human being with a whole specturm of emotions.
Oh, the rage. So much truth in that feeling and so scary at the same time. I’m so glad it resonated with you and I’m sending strengthen your way.
Choosing freedom to be your best YOU for YOU is not damnation...but awareness and consciousness. Awakened to this question? Choose YOU. We can spend our lives seeking and hoping to be chosen, approved of, included. Turn that on its head. Truth is only truth if YOU believe it. Signed, your (finally) Fearless Writer, Lisa
Wow! It's like you were writing about me!😳
Kate, I see you. I hear you. I get you.
Thank you for being so raw and brave in sharing your truth.
I'm sure it's the truth of many, as it is also my truth.
I feel empowered to get more real now.
🥰 Rusty
Reading this I felt both seen and scared because these dark sides have, at times, been difficult for me to control. After becoming a mom (of 4) with a successful career I have been too busy to give them space but occasionally they percolate to the top of mind and remind me they will always be there. I recently turned 41 and am now convincing myself that I am no longer the scared 20 year old without the love, support, or tools to look these feelings head on. Your words help give me the strength to move forward not just for myself but for my two girls (7 and 13) who I see struggling with the very same drive for perfection.
I love your writing Kate. Whenever you dig in like this it is pure magic. Good to see you writing like this again you have a gorgeous way to weaving truth and vulnerability into something worth learning and growing from. This was an excellent read!
Ps. I relate :)